Jokes and Word Play The Lighter Side of English

Knock, knock.Whos there?Grammar.Grammar who?Grammar crackers. Gather the kids and suspend your long-preserved maturity: were about to visit the lighter side of the English language. A boy answers the phone. The caller asks, Where are your parents?They aint here!Come on, son. Wheres your grammar?My gramma aint here neither. Shes gone to church!If cant is the contraction for cannot, what is dont short for?  DoughnutWhat does a grammarian call Santas helpers?Subordinate ClausesUse the word hyphenated in a sentence.  There used to be a space between these two words, but there isnt anymore because the hyphen ate it.I dont know a lot about grammar. For example, I get mixed up on lay and lie. The other day, one of my old hens cackled, and I didnt know whether she had laid or lied.(Loyal Jones and Billy Edd Wheeler, More Laughter in Appalachia. August House, 1995)Is there a word in English that uses all the vowels including y?Unquestionably!I am is said to be the shortest sentence in the English language. The longest is I do.A pregnant woman went into labor and began to yell, Couldnt! Wouldnt! Shouldnt! Didnt! Cant!She was having contractions.(Garrison Keillor, A Pr airie Home Companion, February 3, 2007What kind of word would you invite to a fancy tea party?A proper noun.What word allows you to take away two letters and get one in return?  Alone.Whats the longest word in the English language?Smiles: theres a mile between the first and last letters.Or post office: it has the most letters.Or maybe rubber: it stretches.Teacher: Can someone give me a sentence starting with I?Student: I is--Teacher: No. Always say, I am.Student: All right, if you say so. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.In one of his radio programs, comedian Jack Benny and his guest star Vincent Price were drinking some freshly brewed coffee. After savoring a sip, Benny announced, This is the better coffee I ever tasted.Price snapped, You mean the best coffee!Benny snapped back, Theres only two of us drinking it!(Ken Tucker, Kissing Bill OReilly, Roasting Miss Piggy: 100 Things to Love and Hate About TV. Macmillan, 2005)Which two letters of the alphabet mean nothing?  MT.S t. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates watching an assistant check in new arrivals. The assistant had a roster and was calling out names as the spirits lined up.James Robertson, he read off, and a fellow said, Im him. Then he read William Bumgarner, and another fellow said, Thats me. Then he read, Gladys Humphreys, and a woman answered, I am she.St. Peter leaned over and whispered to his assistant, Another damn schoolteacher.(Loyal Jones and Billy Edd Wheeler, Curing the Cross-Eyed Mule: Appalachian Mountain Humor. August House, 1989)

William Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet - 879 Words

In my opinion, the mentors (Friar Lawrence and the Nurse) are most to blame for the deaths of the young star-crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet. I think this because of the trust shared between the mentors and lovers, the mentors assumed they could stop the ongoing feud by lying to the parents, and the mentors supported Romeo and Juliet’s decision to wed in secrecy. Firstly, throughout the play both mentors were looked to by the lovers as sources of advice. They were not only greatly trusted by Romeo and Juliet, but also the parents. Friar Lawrence was seen as the man of God so his opinion was highly valued. Had he gone to the parents and explained the relationship between Romeo and Juliet, the parents might have understood since they trusted him greatly. Instead, the Friar betrayed their trust. He could have also been able to persuade Romeo to not marry Juliet a day after they met. In act 2, scene 3, it is evident that Friar Lawrence was taken aback by Romeo’s offer to wed him to Juliet when he says, â€Å"Holy Saint Francis! What a change is here!†. This quotation proves the Friar was shocked by what Romeo had told him. Later on in the scene, the Friar continues to seem dubious, but agrees to marry Romeo and Juliet. Due to his decision to proceed with the marriage, he gives Romeo the impression that it is fine because whatever th e Friar said was right was deemed a good act. Had he not done this, Romeo would have thought twice about his decision to marry Juliet that fast. Since,Show MoreRelatedWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet1287 Words   |  6 PagesLizzy Baginski English Composition 2 Mr. Spera March 10, 2015 Romeo and Juliet Research Paper The movie Romeo and Juliet is a modern classic film that took place in 1996. Overall this is a timeless story that everyone should go and watch. This movie has an intriguing plot line that tells the story of two feuding families, The Montagues and The Capulets, and how the children of these two different families fall in love. The two children overcome various obstacles such as hiding their chemistry fromRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet 966 Words   |  4 Pages Beauty Over Gold â€Å"Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.--William Shakespeare, 1623. In his book As You Like It, William Shakespeare pointed out the supremacy of love rather than the want of gold and wealth. Truly, beauty is more important to thieves than wealth. Many of the thieves in this world would rather have an elegant woman than to obtain precious rubies. After all, what good is a prosperous man if he doesn’t have a charming woman? Two famous men grab my attention who didn’t fear forRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet Essay1024 Words   |  5 PagesRomeo and Juliet is a tragedy written by William Shakespeare early in his career about two young star-crossed lovers whose deaths ultimately reconcile their feuding families. It was among Shakespeare s most popular plays during his lifetime and, along with Hamlet, is one of his most frequently performed plays. Today, the title characters are regarded as archetypal young lovers. Romeo and Juliet belongs to a tradition of tragic romances stretching back to antiquity. The plot is based on an ItalianRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet1124 Words   |  5 PagesThe play Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy written by William Shakespeare early in his career about two young star-crossed lovers whose deaths ultimately reconcile their feuding families. It was among Shakespeare s most popular plays during his lifetime and, along with Hamlet, is one of his most frequently performed plays. Today, the title characters are regarded as archetypal young lovers. Romeo and Juliet belongs to a tradition of tragic romances stretching back to antiquity. Its plot is based onRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet861 Words   |  4 Pagesgreatly shown in the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. It was love at first sight with Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet. Meeting at a party and falling in love to get married without even spending quality time with each other. Romeo and Juliet couldn t tell there parents because the Capulets and Montagues are long term rivals. Both Romeo and Juliet had to find different ways and excuses to make this marriage work. A big problem was developed. Romeo kills Juliet s cousin and is banishedRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet1770 Words   |  8 Pagesof Romeo and Juliet. The story of two destined lovers who were killed by their own doing. But what if they weren t two destined lovers who got unlucky, but doomed partners that were never going to have a good-life to begin with.William Sha kespeare gives us a view of early signs of gang conflict in the early age of Verona, Italy. He gives us a perspective of the norms and customs of Italy during the Setting of William Shakespeare s most famous story. Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare, givesRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet1616 Words   |  7 Pageslove can also cause some of life s most controversial battles. These battles could stem from lack of patience, disagreement of moral values, and in some cases, an absence of attraction overall. In Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, the issues that drive Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet s to each of their dreadful misfortunes are inevitable. When it comes to many of Shakespeare s plays, Aristotle s theory is used to describe them as tragedies. Romeo and Juliet is known by many as a tragedyRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet1264 Words   |  6 Pagestheater-going public the most important dramatist in English literature, Shakespeare oc cupies a well-known position in the world of talented authors. His canon contains thirty-seven plays, written in the late sixteenth and early seventeenth centuries. Additionally, throughout the years, they continue to sustain critical attention, with the majority of his works circling tragedies, one being Romeo and Juliet. William Shakespeare s Romeo and Juliet speaks to the timeless appeal of star-crossed lovers. Their loveRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet924 Words   |  4 PagesWilliam Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy that follows the so-called love of two teenagers. The two fall in love at a masked ball and have a secret marriage. Throughout the play, their actions show how ridiculous love is, and how it is a danger to anyone who become twisted in its choking grasp. However, in the death of the youth and survival of the elders, an alternative explanation for the tragic events may be found. Although Shakespeare seems to be mocking love throughout the play, itRead MoreWilliam Shakespeare s Romeo And Juliet1279 Words   |  6 Pagesour lives. The great, classic writers teach timeless, valuable life skills. Shakespeare was the greatest writer of all time. His writings mainly consisted of dramas and sonnets. Romeo and Juliet, as well as, A MIdsummer Night’s Dream were written about the same time period. He was able to inter relate everything that wrote. For example, the tale of Pyramus and Thisbe could possibly be an advertisement for Romeo and Juliet. The basic structure of the two dramas is the same; two forbidden lovers meet

Management Principles Market Entry Strategies Report Free Essays

string(42) " or other business topics \(Lane, 2006\)\." Executive Summary This report has been written to seek to explore the management principles, which may be applied by businesses when they seek to enter new international markets. The report shall be split into three parts, which will focus on different elements of this. Firstly, the various market entry strategies, which are available to firms who are intending to become international businesses, shall be briefly described. We will write a custom essay sample on Management Principles: Market Entry Strategies Report or any similar topic only for you Order Now Secondly, three market entry strategies shall be discussed (including their definitions, the basic decisions required to implement these and the positive or negative aspects of each of these strategies). Finally, an analysis of a market entry strategy, which has been used by IBM to move their business into China from the United States (U.S.) shall be analysed and discussed. Then a number of conclusions shall be drawn in relation to market entry strategies and how they have been utilised by firms to date. 1. Introduction This report has been written to seek to explore the management principles, which may be applied by businesses when they seek to enter new international markets. The report shall be split into three parts, which will focus on different elements of this. Firstly, the various market entry strategies, which are available to firms who are intending to become international, shall be briefly described. Secondly, three market entry strategies shall be discussed (including their definitions, the basic decisions required to implement these and the positive or negative aspects of each of these strategies). Finally, an analysis of a market entry strategy, which has been used by IBM to move their business into China from the United States shall be analysed and discussed. The first of these topics shall now be briefly discussed. 2. Market entry strategies available for a firm intending to become international. When an organisation has made a decision to enter an overseas market, there is a variety of options open to it (Meyers et al. 2009). These options will be varied depending upon the cost, risk or the degree of control, which can be exercised over them (McDonald, Burton and Dowling, 2002). However, the easiest way which a firm may enter a new market is by using a form of entry strategy derived from exporting (Morsink, 1998). This may be implemented by using either a direct or indirect method such as, an agent or countertrade (Morschett, Schramm-Klein and Swoboda, 2010). However, there are more complex ways through which firms may seek to enter new international markets (Porter, 1980) these may be derived from the undertaking of joint ventures, or export processing zones (Roberts and Hite, 2007). Cunningham (1986) identified five strategies, which have been used by firms when they are seeking to enter foreign markets, these are: Technical innovation strategy. This is when a firm seeks to create an image so that they are perceived to have superior products. Product adaptation strategy – This is when a business modifies an existing product. Availability and security strategy – This is when a firm seek to overcome transport risks by countering perceived risks. Low price strategy – This is when a firm use a low price to penetrate the new market. Total adaptation and conformity strategy – This is when a firm use a foreign producer to manufacture their products (Cunningham, 1986: 9). Therefore, from the above, we can ascertain that there are a number of market entry strategies, which may be used by firms to seek to enter new international markets. In the next section of this report, three of these shall now be discussed in more detail. 3. Three market entry strategies, which firms may use to become international businesses There are three main entry strategies, which may be used by firms to enter international markets. These are direct, indirect or foreign based (Dunning, 1985).Each of these has a number of advantages and disadvantages. For example, a direct strategy involves the sharing of risk and knows, may be only means of entry into an international market or may be source of supply for third country (Dunning, 1985). Each of these is advantageous and may be implemented through an agent, distributor, government or an overseas subsidiary. However, the disadvantages associated with this approach are that partners may not have full control or management within a company, it may be impossible to recover capital, there could be disagreements between purchasers or third parties or partners may have different views on the exported benefits of the goods or services in question (Ferrell and Hartline, 2008). In comparison, indirect approaches involve trading companies, export management companies, piggy backing or countertrading (Glowik and Smyczek, 2011). Furthermore, foreign based market entry strategies enable companies to set up their operations in other countries. So there are a variety of ways in which organisations can enter foreign markets.Three of these methods shall now be outlined in more detail. The first of these is the use of export processing zones. This is often defined as a zone within a country, exempt from tax and duties, for the processing or reprocessing of goods for export (Croft, 1994). This is a foreign market entry strategy, which is derived from the use of licensing, joint venture, contract manufacture or ownership (Griffin, 2008). In order to determine if this is the best approach, a firm will need to ascertain if there is a demand for their product, they will need to identify potential partners and they will need to ascertain if their earnings will be advantageous from adopting this market entry strategy. The advantages of using this approach are that the host country obtains know how, there is capital, technology or employment opportunities created within the country in question, there could be foreign exchange earnings and this helps foreign internationalization is enabled more easily (Gwartney, Stroup, Sobel and MacPherson, 2009). However, the disadva ntages of this approach are that partners do not have full control or management of their business, it may be impossible to recover capital, there could disagreements between parties as they may have different views on exported benefits or other business topics (Lane, 2006). You read "Management Principles: Market Entry Strategies Report" in category "Essay examples" The second approach, which may be used to enter a foreign market, is often based on bartering. Bartering is defined as the direct exchange of one good for another (Kotler and Armstrong, 2008). In order to determine if this is the best approach, a firm will need to ascertain if there is a demand for their product, they will need to identify potential partners with whom they may barter goods and they will need to ascertain if their earnings will be advantageous from adopting this market entry strategy (Schultz, Robinson and Petrison, 1998). The disadvantages of this approach are that it may involve short-term investments, capital or employment movements, transaction costs and benefits, the business is not part of economy so it may be aliened, laws may be different or create more bureaucracy (Smith, 2011). However, they are simple to administer, there is no currency and they are commodity based valuation or currency based valuation, so there are also a number of advantages to adopti ng this approach. The third method, which may be used by firms to enter a foreign market, is referred to as countertrade (Williamson, 1975). Countertrade is when a customer agrees to buy goods on condition that the seller buys some of the customer’s own products in return (Kotler and Armstrong, 2008). In order to determine if this is the best approach, a firm will need to ascertain if there is a demand for their product or a demand for their partners, they will need to identify potential partners from which they make purchases and they will need to ascertain if their earnings will be advantageous from adopting this market entry strategy (Williamson, 1985). The advantages of this are that it is a method of obtaining sales by retaining a seller and it is an effective method of breaking into a closed market. However, the disadvantages are that there may be usage differences or variety differences between products and locations, it is difficult to set a market price and there may be inconsistenc ies in the delivery and specification of the product or service quality (Glowik and Smyczek, 2011). Each of these three market entry strategies may be employed by companies who wish to enter foreign markets. However, what has been interesting is the recent shift in companies moving to China (Hira and Hira, 2008). This shall be discussed using IBM as an example (Highbeam.com, 2005). 4. Analysis of the market entry strategy of IBM to move their business into China from the United States. In recent years, according to Hira and Hira (2008), a number of multi-national companies, which have been based in the United States, have started to move their operations to China. This is sometimes referred to as off shoring. Off shoring is when companies seek to move parts of their operations to other countries. One example of this is the U.S. company named IBM, which is moving their business China. In this scenario, the market entry strategy, which is being adopted by IBM, is based on knowledge transfer and a foreign market entry strategy (Glowik and Smyczek, 2011). Additionally, IBM is adopting a total adaptation and conformity strategy as they are using a foreign producer to manufacture their products (Cunningham, 1986). This is a big move for IBM, which is a multinational technology and consulting corporation with headquarters based in Armonk, New York in the U.S. They produce and market computers, to both businesses and domestic consumers. The manufacture and develop b oth hardware and software, and provides infrastructure, hosting and consulting services in areas covering many divisions from mainframe computers to nanotechnology (Shelly, 2010). Originally IBM had twenty-five 25 research and development (RD) centers in the US, Europe and Asia. However recently it has decided to establish two major research and development centres in Beijing and Shanghai of China. This move has been undertaken to seek to take advantage of the emerging markets and economies in China and to encourage the technology development in an open standard and open source code (hHghbeam.com, 2005).This has brought a number of advantages to IBM due to the low labour costs, the high technological centres which already exist in China and a general reduction in their overheads due to the lower operating costs (Thomson and Sigurdson, 2007). Therefore, this move has been advantageous to them in a number of ways. However, they have also been able to take advantage of entering this new market as their products and services are now being utilized in China too (Engardio, Roberts and Bremner, 2004). To this end, this move has been good for IBM. However, one must also consider that there may be a number of disadvantages for this company in the future such as, the company may not attain full control or management of their business or it may be impossible to recover capital should these new investments in China fail (Lane, 2006). However, to date IBM seems to be reaping the benefits of this move, only time will tell if this has been beneficial overall. 5. Conclusions From the above, we can ascertain that there are a number of market entry strategies, which may be used by firms to seek to enter new international markets. Each of these has a number of positive or negative aspects which must be considered carefully by businesses before they enter new markets as is shown by IBM who have moved their business into China from the United States. References Croft, M. J. (1994), Market segmentation: a step-by-step guide to profitable new business, New York: Routledge. Cunningham, M.T. (1986) â€Å"Strategies for International Industrial Marketing†. In D.W. Turnbull and J.P. Valla (eds.) Croom Helm 1986, Davidson, W. (1982). Global strategic management. New York. Wiley. Dunning, J. H. (1985). Multinational enterprises, economic structure, and international competitiveness. New York. Wiley Engardio, P., Roberts, D. and Bremner, B. (2004) ‘The China Price’, Business Week, 3911, pp. 102. Ferrell, O. C. Hartline, M. D. (2008), Marketing Strategy, Mason: Thomson Higher Education. Glowik, M. Smyczek, S. (2011), International Marketing Management: Strategies, Concepts and Cases in Europe. Germany: Oldenbourg Wissenschafts Verlag GmbH. Griffin, R. W. (2008), Management. 9th edition, Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company. Gwartney, J. D., Stroup, R. L., Sobel, R. S. MacPherson, D. (2009), Economics: Private and Public Choice. Mason, OH: South-Western Cengage Learning. Highbeam.com (2005). IBM to Set Up 4 RD Centers in China. [online]: http://business.highbeam.com/436093/article-1G1-129005819/ibm-set-up-4-rd-centers-china Accessed on 08/08/2013 Hira, R. Hira, A. (2008), Outsourcing America: the true cost of shipping jobs overseas and what can be done about it. New York: AMACOM books. Kotler, P., Armstrong, G. (2008), Principles of marketing, New Jersey: Prentice Hall. Lane, H. W. (2006), International Management Behavior, Fifth Edition, Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing. McDonald, F., Burton, F. Dowling, P. (2002). International business. Cincinnati: South Western College Publishers. Meyer, K. E., Estrin, S., Bhaumik, S. K., Peng, M. W. (2009). Institutions, resources, and entry strategies in emerging economies. Strategic management journal, 30(1), 61-80. Morschett, D., Schramm-Klein, H., Swoboda, B. (2010). Decades of research on market entry modes: what do we really know about external antecedents of entry mode choice?. Journal of International Management, 16(1), 60-77. Morsink, R. L. A. (1998), Foreign direct investment and corporate networking: a framework for spatial analysis of investment conditions. Cheltenham: Edward Elgar Publishing Limited. Porter, M. E. (1980), Competitive Strategy: Techniques for Analysing Industries and Competitor, New York: Free Press Roberts, J. T. Hite, A. (2007), The globalization and development reader: perspectives on development and social change. London: Blackwell Publishing Ltd. Schultz, D. E., Robinson, W. A. Petrison, L. (1998) Sales promotion essentials: the 10 basic sales promotion techniques — and how to use them. New York: McGraw – Hill. Inc. Shelly, G. B. (2010). Discovering Computers 2010: Living in a Digital World, Complete. Boston, MA: Course Technology Cengage Learning. Smith, T. J. (2011), Pricing Strategy: Setting Price Levels, Managing Price Discounts Establishing Price Structure. Natorp boulevard: South – Western Cengage learning. Thomson, E. Sigurdson, J. (2007), China’s science and technology sector and the forces of globalization. London: World Scientific Publishing Co. Pte. Ltd. Williamson, O. E. 1975. Markets and hierarchies – analysis and antitrust implications. New York: The Free Press Williamson, O. E. 1985. The economic institutions of capitalism: firms, markets, relational contracting. New York: The Free Press How to cite Management Principles: Market Entry Strategies Report, Essay examples